The Guild Library

This morning at 11:28am my family had our cat, Deedee, put to sleep. Back in July, we discovered that her one working kidney had stopped functioning (she was born with one defective). Through some fluid treatments and special food we were able to keep her going but we knew it was only a matter of time before she would shut down totally. Last week she stopped eating, a few days ago she stopped drinking water and cleaning herself. So it was better for her this way.

In August of 2000, I was working at a video rental store and a lady brought in a flyer advertising a cat she’d rescued as being up for adoption. I was going to post it up but the cat looked so cute and I spontaneously decided to ask to see her. She would jump up to be pet if you held your hand out above her, she made little “chirps” instead of full meows, she was very affectionate: so I brought her home. She was about a year old and had birthed a litter of kittens. At the time, I was living with my parents and I didn’t tell them – I snuck her in and she was so frightened about the whole situation that she kept hidden in my room for a few days. I told my parents after a few days and though they were mad, they thought she was cute enough to give a chance.

When I moved to California in June of 2003, Deedee stayed with my family. I saw her when I would come back on vacations and she was a warmer and friendlier cat every time. She developed routines/habits around my parents, essentially becoming theirs – though, the whole family loved Deedee because she was so well-behaved: never scratching furniture or destroying things, keeping to a few spots to minimize shedding everywhere, never jumping on counters or anything else bad. When my mother developed ovarian cancer, the cat “knew” and kept a close watch on Mom. You could tell she was really close to them, and even to my sister and I when we visited.

I moved back here at the beginning of this year and stayed with my parents, so I got to bond with Deedee again. In July, as mentioned, she started lying in two spots that were hard for us to reach her and not eating or drinking. The veterinarian did some blood tests and found very high levels of the byproducts that indicate a failing kidney. They seemed to think she would have a good week or so before functions stopped entirely.

Deedee dialed in a life or something, because after a week or so of giving her special foods and such, she started becoming active again. She went back to her old spots where we could reach her. She had an incredibly miraculous recovery.

Obviously, it wasn’t a long-lived recovery: she lost all of her weight due to the lack of eating or drinking, leaving her as just skin and bones. Her eyes were always dilated, she was pale and covered in dandruff from dry skin. These past couple of days she couldn’t even jump up on the couch to be pet.

The vet was very nice and understanding, making sure we were ready before doing anything. They had to shave a little bit of the hair off of her leg to put the needle in, but apparently didn’t have much trouble. Whatever they use works quickly, and I felt her last breath because I was holding her. So sad to think that she’s gone, but it’s also good to know that she’s not suffering or in any pain.

Rest in peace, beautiful one – we love you and miss you!

I added a mobile theme. So that way the site actually should look fairly decent on iPhones and Androids and such.

I have put up another chapter of the second book in the Child of Time series, The Stone Royalty. It will be a while before another update, since I was so focused on the stuff going on in my life that I haven’t had time to edit. This chapter contains the part I alluded to in a blog post back in August.

• Chapter 7

I appreciate any and all feedback.

I have put Injury of the Spirit back up in its entirety.

I was asked, today, about when Mekin eventually mans up and tells Ruñe that he loves her. Throughout “Injury of the Spirit,” here is Ruñe’s situation:

• He says they are best friends during a very awkward embrace before he departs on a mission. His back to her, she whispers, “I love you,” to him.
• She confronts him at the pond and he prevents her from saying it to him.
• Before he revives in Taffeter, she says it to him.
• At the banquet, right before the Tul rage, she got the “I lo-” out.
• She gets all three words out to him on the eve of his exile and he smiles, but he doesn’t say it back because he’s still being a wimp.

There are several things I have planned in the parts I’ve already written and in the skeletons for the next two books. It just so happens that the question was asked of me while I was editing a part that I think many girls will be able to identify with so I said, “You’re so not going to like the answer to that question.” The inquirer (who wishes to remain unnamed) wanted to know why.

If you’ve read any of the partially edited chapters from book two I have up you know that, even though the end of the first book seems to imply Mekin is venturing alone, he finds out that he is traveling with Belzamus, Kandou, and Ruñe. During their trek, Kandou gets more and more frustrated at Mekin and Ruñe for not confronting the issue – they seem really distant and don’t spend a lot of time together despite his efforts at making them interact. The part I’m editing right now finds Kandou discovering that the two are waiting until Kandou and Belzamus are asleep to sneak off and have sex. When he confronts Ruñe about it, she rationalizes it away by saying she knows he loves her and that it’s only a matter of time before he says it. He rationalizes it away by saying that he wants to tell her when they don’t have any danger around them.

Of course, they get separated before that can happen and by the time they meet up again, Mekin’s got a ton of pressure pushing him to brink of giving up and disappearing from his responsibilities. There are tons of Mekin’s imagined barriers that prevent him from saying it in the third book, too.

So the answer is that he’s going to lead her on for a very long time, which is still bad even though he’s not doing it maliciously, and then say it at the worst possible time. I have a small bit of the third book’s events down, including the chapter that the following except is from:

“Mekin,” Ruñe said, stroking his hair.

“Your voice wasn’t an illusion …” he muttered.

She placed her hand upon his.

“Ruñe,” he choked out, smiling, keeping his eyes under control even though they desperately wanted to move of their own accord. He looked directly at her and was able to bring his hand up to her cheek, a feeble press against her skin that she barely felt. His lips parted and he said, “I love you.”

His hand fell, his head moved a bit to the side and his eyes glazed over. Ruñe’s lower lip trembled for several seconds before she uttered his name again. He gave no response. She called his name a third time, to no avail. Grabbing up his hand, she felt no blood pumping through the veins in his wrist. She felt his chest and his heart was no longer beating. No breaths came from his mouth. For a fourth time, Ruñe called his name and was denied any reply once again.

“No,” she said, laying down upon his lifeless body. “No.”

He did not stir under her and yet she still did not sob.

“No,” she reiterated. “NO, DAMN IT! NO!”

She beat her fists upon his chest and he didn’t flinch or retaliate.

“You are not dead! You are not dead!” she shouted at his face. “Get up! Mekin! Get up! You are not dead!”

She shook his body frantically with no result.

“You lived through Taffeter, Mekin! You will live through this!” she yelled up to the sky. “Please,” she begged as she pushed her face into the nook of his shoulder. “Mekin, I love you, too.”

Ruñe lay there, with Mekin, for a long time; she counted every second that went by in silence. She let the five minutes after his death pass in quiet as well. She gave no response after he lay there for ten minutes, nor after twenty, nor, in fact, after thirty minutes.

Mekin made no movements the entire time and, after an hour of laying there with him, hoping beyond hope that he would repeat his feat in Taffeter, a tear left her eye and slid down her face, accompanied by a low, almost inaudible moan from the depths of her throat.

She slowly got up, her eyes on the verge of spilling a cascade of water, and grabbed up the sword that Tiroq had used to run Mekin through with. She walked just as slowly to the edge of the cliff and looked down at the ocean’s gentle waves below her. With a sudden yell borne of pure sadness and frustration, she wound up and threw the sword down into the water. Ruñe ran back to Mekin’s body and threw herself onto his chest, stained red from the wound that had killed him, then let out a final, “No,” as the rush of emotions could no longer be contained.

Nice little sneak peak at who does the deed, too.